Do you interrupt when you don't "get it"?

Do you interrupt when you don't "get it"?

Ever been in a meeting where someone used some jargon where you had no idea what they were saying?

When it's a topic you don't know well, or one you feel you SHOULD know well, sometimes it may feel more uncomfortable to say anything. You probably want to say something, you get anxious, but you let it go. Maybe it snowballs because the topic or phrase or idea comes up again and now it's even harder to interrupt.

It doesn't have to be that way.

Many times if you don't "get it", there is someone else in the room who may not either. Sometimes, surprisingly, that may be someone more experienced. Or it may be the "newbie" but they'll love you for it.

It models the behavior for everyone else. People feel empowered when they feel like they can ask "dumb questions" (which really aren't dumb) and group trust can increase.

Communicating "I am not following" or "I did not understand that" may feel like admitting a vulnerability, but that admitting can be a sign of strength, a sign of leadership, and make your meeting more productive for everyone.

One last point. Consider THANKING your colleagues when they do the same to you, letting you know they don't "get" something you have said. Reinforce the positive team behavior.

Decision making is overrated?

We all come across a few crucial times in our life where we feel we have a SIGNIFICANT decision to be made, where our decision will have a major impact on our future. We also face other decisions every single day. If you are an accountant, you are a knowledge worker, and you are paid to make knowledge based decisions. But sometimes we overvalue the importance of many of the decisions we have to make.

Here is what you can do to make decision making less important: DECIDE that you are going to do everything you can do to make it the "right" decision.

You see, you might have to decide between A and B, but it's what you do afterwards in many cases that can make one decision a good one. In fact, maybe either decision "could" be good because you decide to intentionally do what you can to make it a good one.

Make your decisions the right one ... after you have made them!

Thought to "CPA" parents

For those readers that are parents, I wanted to mention a thought I had that hit me hard. Maybe, just maybe it will resonate with you. It seems, based on my limited reading and personal reflection that a child you have is going to pick up some (but definitely not all) of your characteristics. Since we don't really have control over which ones, might as well try to live our core convictions as best we can. And it's not just as simple as doing it at home. We need to do it throughout our life, including in the workplace. We can't be one person in one domain and then "turn on" another person when we come home. Think about it. Your core convictions (your heartfelt values) should be about what is most important to you, but your kid(s) are always watching. What do they see?


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Without a documented goal, you may stand still

Have you heard that you are three times more likely to obtain a goal if you simply write it down? Why is that?

• It reminds you of what you want. It is easy not to do something you are NOT thinking about very often.
• It forces you to "see" it and then you will probably want to "plan" it and "act" on it more.
• In a small way, writing it down makes it more of a commitment - not just in your head, but now it's out there!

Think about it this way, if a goal IS VERY IMPORTANT to you, why wouldn't you do whatever you can to make it part of your "dashboard" and make it more a part of your daily thinking and "doing"?

You are driving the car, and its your goals that should be helping you push on the gas.

Fire-Fighter ?!

Have you ever used the term fire-fighter to describe your day, or to describe your (all too common) role?

Many of us would not relate the word fire-fighter to hero. A real fire-fighter swoops down on a fire and with all her/his great dexterity and skill, they put it out. Most I know don't see this label that way. They see it as major burden, as something they don't want to do (putting out fires) .... something they would rather not do in fact.

A real fire-fighter does not know where the (next) fire is going to start or when it is going to happen, but that is their job and they are ready. Most leaders I know who describe their fire-fighting role describe it in similar ways. "It is something new every day." But is it?

The question is -- is firefighting your job? Or is it a role you have grown into in your current role?

The other question is -- what does being more and more of a fire fighter tell you? What does it tell you is lacking? In your team(s)? In yourself?

The question you MUST ask when you miss a deadline

Missing deadlines stinks! There are lots of reasons why they happen. Let's focus on what happens when they DO happen ... when you missed a deadline.

First off, one or many people are probably mad if it is a high priority item.

It is easy to:

• Blame others.
• Talk about how the deadline was unfair (now after it's too late) or how circumstances changed.
• Provide excuses.

The question that can really help is one that may seem counter-intuitive to "excuse-providers" .....

"How did missing this deadline affect you personally?"

This does not have to be the first question, and maybe it should not be, but it needs to be asked. Also, if it affected more than one person, you will have to ask it more than one time! (Because most everyone will have a different answer.)

What this question may do:

1.) Right away it shifts the attention to where it should be - the impact. By asking that question, you are telling the other person you care because you want to know what this (missed deadline) has caused.

2.) It makes it personal and while people understand organizational impact, they "feel" personal impact much more easily. In short, the question is a sign of empathy.

3.) It shows a willingness to want to solve the issue. Before you can do that you need to know the issue (which may be bigger now that a deadline has been missed). So, it boldly inquires about where you are now (and does not try and sweep anything under a rug.)

4.) The answer to the question may open up new possibilities .... How do we adjust now? What can be done, salvaged, etc.?

5.) It shows you want to LEARN from the event. It shows ownership not just in the specific deadline missed but in working forward to ensure it does not happen again. You can work with their answer in making changes going forward.

Hopefully you will never miss a deadline in your life again, but chances are we all will. Can this question really "do" all those 5 things? Try it.

What do you bring to the Toughest situations?

The New Jersey Nets of the National Basketball Association almost set the record for the most losses in one season in the history of the NBA this year. They were real bad for a real long time.

I was shocked to see how well the NJ Nets coach (Kiki Vandeweghe) endured and "reacted" to those tough times. You could see the pain and the passion. You could not see total negativity.

In our careers, just like in sports, when things go bad an opportunity arises. How do you handle it? How do you respond? How do you "show up" during tough times?

When a project goes "south", when a colleague "stabs you in the back" .... That is when your leadership qualities will show up (or not). It's easy just to react negatively. It is much harder to react based on what is important to you (defined even before the event occurred.)

We all will probably feel negative towards such events, the question to you, right now, before the next one happens .... how do YOU WANT to react in a way where you show up at your best? If you don't know, if you have not thought about it, your choices are more limited.

Short Course on Leadership

I love this quote so much I had to make make the quote itself .... today's blog post:

“Ph.D. in leadership. Short course: Make a short list of all things done to you that you abhorred.

Don’t do them to others. Ever.

Make another list of things done to you that you loved. Do them to others. Always.”

– Dee Hock

The most powerful start to learning

"I don't know."

Whenever I hear a coaching client say that, I know they are already on a better path. Whenever I hear a partner at an accounting firm say that, I know they are on the right path to finding out an answer. And in the rare cases where I hear a staff accountant say that, I sense confidence.

The first thing you need to do when you want to learn something new or better yet, try and get a new result in your life, is to admit...

"I don't know."

I don't know the answer. I don't know how to do something. I do not know how to change. I do not know how to do it better.

If "you don't know" you really do KNOW where you are at, and admitting that is powerful because it is the first step in wiping the slate clean and uncovering what might be possible. It's the first step in admitting that what you have learned or done to date has you in this position --- not knowing the answer.

When you come face to face with your true gap in knowledge, with some humility, you are setting yourself up for learning.

People do not get in trouble for saying I don't know. They can really get into trouble for implying they know something when they have no idea. Also, when you do not come clean, you have not framed your problem, which is .... you guessed it "You don't know."

Do you have a problem or barrier or habit that you want to change? Say it one last time: "I don't know." Now let it sink in. Now you are ready. Believe it or not the next steps will be easier than you think if you can come clean and admit your place.

Relationship Responsibility

How are you taking responsibility for your relationships?

Let's focus on "work" relationships for now (though all of this will apply to all your relationships).

When you look back many years from now, how do you want to look back on your relationships?

Think about it this way, when it is time for you look back at your career or a certain job, how do your relationships help? How do your relationships feel? How much of YOUR success is based on relationships?

Now here is such an obvious reminder - your relationships are developing with every passing moment. Every encounter. Every discussion.

Some simple questions to help in a more "day-to-day" way, especially when you feel REAL busy:

How do others feel about themselves when they leave your presence?

How are others reminded (this afternoon!) about how you feel about your relationships?

You OWN your relationship if you take responsibility for them, so what is it going to be?

Action compliments are nice, but "YOU" compliments ROCK!

We have all probably heard that compliments can be more powerful when you provide detail.

So "I like your tie" is nice, but "I like your tie and how it matches your eyes" will be more memorable (though possibly corny and in some cases be viewed as a pick-up line!)

So "the workpaper you prepared was well done" is nice, but "the workpaper you prepared was great, especially the way you linked the results of the analytical procedures performed in revenues to the related expense accounts."

Providing more detail makes a compliment more memorable and people will know better what kind of "actions" to repeat.

BUT there are also other types of compliments, those that may be harder to pick out and those that will be less common, but can be VERY powerful. These are "YOU" compliments.

What are "YOU" compliments? I distinguish "you" from "action" compliments because action compliments describe specific actions a person did, where as "you compliments" go beyond that and provide more about what level that person has achieved.

Let me give you some examples. Notice these comments are NOT necessarily specific, but they are about the other person. (They may in fact elicit follow up questions from the person being complimented.) They are, however, loaded. They make the receiver of the comment think about their contribution...

"I like the way you approached the meeting this morning. You brought your best self and your attitude rubbed off on others."

"I was surprised by how well you handled that criticism from Ted. Most people would have just fired back and fought him, but you are at another level now in the way you lead others."

These "YOU" comments make people ponder where they are, where they have been, and in short they allow people some time and space to feel proud about their growth. When you can do that more often, when you can just be on the look-out more often to uncover these "YOU" compliments, WATCH OUT for the kind of empowering environment you help create based on how people will respond!

Goals Undocumented typically mean Goals Unachieved

GET BOLD. Document your goals. Make them: Specific. Measurable. Time-sensitive. Then get time put in your calendar to start on them. Share them with others!

But do not forget .... you have to ask yourself, what happens if I meet this goal?

If the answer is not much, especially at an emotional level, then the chances of you achieving it are lowered.

A goal needs to be emotional for you. There needs to be a "vision" aspect to your goal. It needs to evoke a sense of your future self where you have accomplished something that makes you "feel" like you are now at another level. The problem with most goal-setting is it does not ask that question: How will I feel when I reach this goal?

You have probably read somewhere those that document their goals have a much better chance, on average, of achieving them. Part of that might be that documenting your goals makes you really think them through but part may be documenting your goals may make you CHANGE them or decide to eliminate one altogether. If you are not emotionally invested in it enough to at least write it out, how much are you going to be invested in doing all that you can to make sure you realize it?!

Do you have a back-up of .... yourself?!

So your computer crashes and you might be covered. You have probably, through work or through other avenues, created a back-up system so if you computer crashes or gets stolen, lost, etc. you will not lose everything.

So do you have a back-up system for yourself? What happens if you "crash" by getting sick or having to attend to some important personal matters? It's a good question for you as we face what might be the worst flu season in many years. The flu can wipe you out for up to a week or more. What happens to your job in this case? What happens to your team? What are the protocols?

It might be a good idea to ask these question with your main colleagues. What do we do when someone is out for a while? How would we cover for each other? How do we ensure nobody is "irreplaceable"? How do we ensure the team is up to speed on the most important matters? (not just one person.)

Be ready for the unexpected. Just having these kinds of conversations will reduce stress levels when something does happen, and heck maybe these kinds of questions are good "team-building" questions anyway.

Don't have time to listen to someone? ..... DON'T !!

Have you ever been caught by someone in the hall when you were rushing out the door or on the way to a meeting, or worse yet, right when you are in the middle of doing something? They just need a "few seconds" and need your ear, so you give it to them, and they talk to you right as you may be moving away from them.

What have you done?

(1) You fell for the "few seconds" line! How many things really take a "few seconds"? The interruption itself has already taken a few seconds!

(2) You have reinforced their behavior - if they can find you they can get you!

(3) You have allowed an environment to be created that is less than ideal to truly listen to them.

Now I know sometimes these practices have to happen, but certainly many of them, including the behaviors they reinforce, can be challenged. If you do not have time to fully engage and provide them a powerful listening ear..... DON'T DO IT. Out of respect for them, tell them no, and tell them how they can get your ear (and how you would like to be able to provide them your FULL attention at another time). Better yet, spend some time (later) talking about your communication protocols, boundaries, and needs.

Document or Review any Personal Goals Lately?

I found it interesting that the average American spends less than 1 hour a year documenting their personal goals and reviewing them. That is because most people do not even document their goals!! (Source: Day-Planners)

So, the average American spends more time biting their fingernails in any year than reviewing their goals.

If you do not have any long-term goals documented ..... I will promise you one thing -- you will have a much better chance of NOT meeting them!

The CPA Exam - More Than Just a Test

Click title above that links to the article we wrote about how passing the CPA exam can be a major learning experience ... much more than just a "test".

Brett Favre's Secret

Even if you aren't a football fan chances are you know who Brett Favre is. Now he is coming back again out of retirement to quarterback the Minnesota Vikings. In his first press conference he took the mic and the press probably wanted to grill him! Here is a guy who has repeatedly said he was retired only to change his mind. He was also about to play for one of the Green Bay Packers' (his first team) biggest rivals.

So what did Brett say in the press conference that may have had a small effect on the reporters and also reminded some of his fans why they like him, and why they root for him? Here is an excerpt...

Another thing I forgot to mention was that when I said no earlier to Coach Childress and Coach Frasier, my 10-year old daughter who was neutral in this whole deal. So I asked her, “What do you want to do daddy?” She said, “Whatever you want to do daddy.” I said, “That’s a good answer but what do you want me to do?” She wouldn’t say until after the news broke and she started crying as we sat on our back porch. Anybody who has children, I can be chased by five defensive linemen and that doesn’t scare me but when my daughter cries it softens me up. She said, “I wanted you to go back and win one more Super Bowl.” I said, “Ugh. Why didn’t you tell me that before? She said I didn’t want to make that decision for you.” It’s amazing what you learn from your children. She said, “Can you go back?” I said, “Too late.” I found myself tearing up this morning as I brought her to school, and she said, ”Daddy, it’s going to be fine. You go up there and do what you got to do. We will be up there soon enough.”

When the opportunity arises, whether it is a business or professional setting .... consider telling your employees stories. They work. Make them personal to you or to them or both if you can. Most people appreciate that. Most people can relate to stories, and maybe most importantly, most people remember them ... and the connection you made!

Unsolicited Positive Remarks

How much do you go "out of your way" to talk about others good traits, characteristics, and performances?

And just maybe sometimes .... it might be good to talk to others "behind the back" of the person you are talking about!

"I was working with Suzy and I tell you what, she knows her stuff. Here is what I mean specifically ...."

"Ted really worked hard on that last project. He made the deadline and the quality of his work was remarkable."

Here is one, maybe unintended, result that happens when you start doing this ... people TRUST you more! That is right -- when you start talking others up, the people you are talking to will trust you more. Think about the opposite approach: When you talk bad about others behind their backs - the people you are saying these things do will pick up on that and realize -- hey this person might do the same thing to me one day! Trust is lowered, even if they agree with you! ... and the same happens when they see you as someone who talks others UP! Trust is raised.

Be on the lookout for positive actions and then TALK TO EVERYBODY about them.

Don't Ask For It, Demonstrate It

Want to be appreciated more at the office? Throw some appreciation to those around you.

Want your colleagues to act more like a "team"? Act more like a teammate to them.

Want more communication? Be a better communicator.

Do these ideas sound obvious?! .... then be obvious. People will respect and gravitate more towards your actions then they will in responding to your pleas for improvement.

I was recently involved in a discussion (close to an argument) with one of my family members about the act of listening. We both thought the other did not listen (and we were both probably right.) So finally, after being stubborn for too long, I just decided I was going to stop everything and listen to his every word at our next lunch. Guess what happened? It became reciprocal. It was hard at first for me, but it was a great feeling in the end because it led to much better results.

Lead by action....then watch others emulate.

Responsiveness is part of your Brand

Are there any companies you deal with that are very unresponsive? They don't call you back, even when THEY said they would. They don't respond to inquiries fast or maybe not at all.

Maybe it is a cable company, a telephone company, or a shoe repair company.

So how do those actions (non-actions) affect your perception of that company? Probably ... pretty negatively. You are forming (or have already formed) a perception of their company and non-responsive is a word that is helping you to describe that company. Pretty soon you get to a horrible conclusion: "They don't care about me."

Now turn it around and think about your responsiveness ... YOUR Brand. What perception do people have about you? Is it what you want? Not sure what it is -- ASK THEM! Do they think "you care about them" based on your responsiveness?