Listening when you "talk"

So, if you have been reading this blog for a while you can probably tell that "listening" has been a topic discussed many times and the challenges that go with trying to be a deep, strategic, results-based listener are MIGHTY.

Part of the reason why listening is such an underrated skill (and great opportunity) is that we do not realize how much we have to do it. So when you are talking, when you are up in front of a group and you are the speaker, does that mean you can turn off your listening radar?

Actually it is quite the opposite. You need to listen when you speak. You need to be in tune with your audience in such a way that you can react and respond to all the signals they are sending, even when it might seem like it's difficult .... when you are worried about what YOU will say. We'll focus on this mighty challenge in future blog posts.

First, start with a little awareness by answering one question: What do people who are good listeners "do" while they are speaking to prove their continual listening??

Thought to "CPA" parents

For those readers that are parents, I wanted to mention a thought I had that hit me hard. Maybe, just maybe it will resonate with you. It seems, based on my limited reading and personal reflection that a child you have is going to pick up some (but definitely not all) of your characteristics. Since we don't really have control over which ones, might as well try to live our core convictions as best we can. And it's not just as simple as doing it at home. We need to do it throughout our life, including in the workplace. We can't be one person in one domain and then "turn on" another person when we come home. Think about it. Your core convictions (your heartfelt values) should be about what is most important to you, but your kid(s) are always watching. What do they see?


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Without a documented goal, you may stand still

Have you heard that you are three times more likely to obtain a goal if you simply write it down? Why is that?

• It reminds you of what you want. It is easy not to do something you are NOT thinking about very often.
• It forces you to "see" it and then you will probably want to "plan" it and "act" on it more.
• In a small way, writing it down makes it more of a commitment - not just in your head, but now it's out there!

Think about it this way, if a goal IS VERY IMPORTANT to you, why wouldn't you do whatever you can to make it part of your "dashboard" and make it more a part of your daily thinking and "doing"?

You are driving the car, and its your goals that should be helping you push on the gas.

Email "signatures" - no big deal?

I have been working with a lot of accountants on their email habits lately. Surprisingly to me, the signature you put at the bottom of emails has been a big topic of conversation.

Some considerations:

• If you are looking for a consistent way to represent your organization's "brand", a consistent signature seems appropriate.
• If you are focused on providing the other person what they probably most need from your signature .... how can they contact you immediately if they want to talk live (i.e. email is just not efficient based on the issue(s) that need to be discussed) then give them your phone number. Some I've worked with get creative with this. They will have one signature with their office number and one with their mobile number depending on where they are that day. (Obviously these folks want to be immediately reachable!) Nothing can be more frustrating to someone to try and look through an email thread and not be able to find your phone number!
• Too much really can be too much! It might be nice to provide all of your contact information. (That makes it easy for us to create a contact file of you.) However, when you add your twitter account, your facebook page, your blog, your resume, and your life history, we may get annoyed. Note for twitter and linkedin and facebook pages, there are small icon-links you can create to save space. For example, here are the directions for linkedin. Facebook and Twitter directions are here.
• Don't spend too much time in focusing on your signature. Maybe create it once and be done with it?! If you have considered these options listed above, you are probably going to have a "responsible" signature. If you want to change it every so often go for it. It may have a "branding" impact (and that may be important to some) but don't let this consume too much of your time .... so you can get back to all those emails!!

If anyone wants to learn how you can save hundreds of hours a year for yourself, become more sane by getting out from inbox overload, or save thousands of hours for your organization contact me at brian@moxiepartners.com.

Procrastinating? Start simple - call yourself out on it

Have you found yourself procrastinating lately on some "big" thing? First off - call it out!

Call what out you ask?

Call yourself out!

(1) I am procrastinating.

The next question is why? There are lots of reasons for procrastination. Maybe the biggest? Fear.

So again, call yourself out.

(2) I have a fear right now.

Now, the natural next question ... What is that fear? But you don't get that far along until you first "call yourself out."

Links to other posts on Procrastination:

Reason #4 Lack of Confidence

Reason #3 Lack of Real Commitment

Reason #2 Fear of Failure

Reason #1 Getting Started

Fire-Fighter ?!

Have you ever used the term fire-fighter to describe your day, or to describe your (all too common) role?

Many of us would not relate the word fire-fighter to hero. A real fire-fighter swoops down on a fire and with all her/his great dexterity and skill, they put it out. Most I know don't see this label that way. They see it as major burden, as something they don't want to do (putting out fires) .... something they would rather not do in fact.

A real fire-fighter does not know where the (next) fire is going to start or when it is going to happen, but that is their job and they are ready. Most leaders I know who describe their fire-fighting role describe it in similar ways. "It is something new every day." But is it?

The question is -- is firefighting your job? Or is it a role you have grown into in your current role?

The other question is -- what does being more and more of a fire fighter tell you? What does it tell you is lacking? In your team(s)? In yourself?

Were you a coward today? It shows.

Cowardice in the workplace. What does that mean?

I'll try and define it : cowardice in the workplace is lacking the courage to take desired action where there is a perception of opposition. What happens? Inaction.

Have we all experienced this? Sure.

An example - holding a "difficult conversation" (what a buzz term that is these days!) Are you able to hold the conversations you need to get the organizational or personal results that are required ... even when these conversations are not perceived as "pleasant"? What a great opportunity to show some cowardice! Just avoid it!

Guess what though? It is a perpetual thing. If one feels cowardly after not taking an action or holding a needed conversation, then the best way to reinforce that is by continuing to do it.

WHAT WE TYPICALLY DON'T REALIZE: Our bodies don't hide this. If you act cowardly enough, it will show up in how you talk, walk, and even in your posture.

It can go the other way too...

Have you ever heard somebody say something like: "I finally mustered the courage to stand up to John and it felt great." I'll bet that breakthrough carried forward with that person, their confidence grew, and their courage to make similar actions grew. I'll also bet they started to hold their head a little higher, and their back straightened up slightly as well.

If you want to practice becoming less "cowardly" by using your body as an aid, try this:

If you have a difficult conversation ahead of you, practice it with a colleague and for the first 20 seconds hold your body in the most "cowardice" way you know (slouched, head down, whatever that means to you.) Now stop yourself after those 20 seconds and try it again. You can say the exact same things you said the first time, now you must hold your body in the MOST confident way you know (upright, head high, good eye contact, whatever that means to you.) Notice how your perception of yourself changes because of the way you intentionally choose to use your body. Notice how your perception of the future action may have changed. Now try and be intentional about using your body strength to help you "strengthen" your actions.

Simple To-Do list tip to help you feel more proactive

If you are big into To-Do lists, and I know a lot of accounts who are ...

Try one simple thing tomorrow when you are reviewing it. Ask yourself, what is the MOST important action I can take today that is not on this list? Consider your career and your team and your organization from a "big-picture" perspective. What is that ONE thing that might make the most difference if a new outcome can be achieved by doing a new action (that was not on your list.)

Now, since you have just potentially added something to your calendar and list of commitments, challenge the other things on your list. What are the TWO things that are of such lower priority that you can either remove them all together or move them to a future date?

You add one thing, you take away two. That sounds good! Also you have started not with your To-Do list as your starting point for priorities .... you have started with thinking outside of your To-Do list to prioritize your actions based on a longer term perspective.